When family therapist Beth Hossfield noticed that her 8th grade daughter’s friends were struggling over body image, boy, and friendship issues, she had a bright idea. Why not start a group for the girls? She did, and soon after met up with Giovanna Taormina, who’d done the same for her daughters. The two of them formed the Girls’ Circle Association, which has since sparked the creation of well over 500 Girls’ Circles. The simple act of letting girls talk together creates change, say the parents, teachers, therapists, and youth group leaders who’ve used the Circle technique. We talked recently with Beth at her home in Mill Valley, California.

The special power of a group

Parents have a very powerful influence on girls as they go through adolescence. But tweens and adolescents are much more open to hearing responses from their own peers than from adults. Plus, we know as adults that it is fun and rewarding to talk with friends, and so do girls. A special group can give girls a safe way to talk to each other, instead of gossiping, which is a destructive way for females to talk.

Girls say things in a group that I never hear them say when they’re jus talking to me. They talk about their changing feelings because of puberty and about getting confusing responses from teachers, boys, and the world. These responses make them feel nervous, uncomfortable, and just “weirded out.” The group gives them a comfortable place to talk about these things. In a facilitated group, girls are more likely to talk about all their experiences and that’s very powerful.

Every girls’ circle is unique, but they share a common format. They start with a short opening ritual, and the adult facilitator introduces the meeting’s theme so the girls know what’s going to happen. Then there’s check-in time, when everyone has a chance to talk about how they’re feeling. Next is an activity, which can be a creative individual project or an interactive group exercise or game.

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