3.Don’t “coach” her from the stands; it will only confuse and distract her and it may actually impede her performance or embarrass her. (A few years ago, I actually had a player ask me if I could get the referee to make her parent stop yelling.) Many times I hear parents yelling at players to do something that is exactly the opposite of what I’m telling them to do. Clap our hands, stamp your feet, yell your head off, but leave the coaching to the coach. If you must give advice, make it something about effort.

4.Don’t make excuses for her. I can’t tell you how many times I have overheard parents telling  their daughters the officiating was poor or the other team was lucky. The truth is, most of the time a team loses because—at least on that night—the other team played better. Your daughter can handle losing, and she needs to understand that life simply works that way sometimes.

5. Now, for the best advice of all: Use the secret phrase. If you really want to help your daughter excel, in any activity or situation, there is one thing you can say to her that always helps. In fact, it works so well, it’s almost like magic. Simply tell her: I love you and I’m proud of how hard you played.

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