Still, Schwebel says, “we don’t have to pretend it’s some sort of death sentence” to dabble with marijuana. Adults damage their credibility by feeding kids Reefer Madness-style horror stories. In fact, he openly acknowledges to his own kids—before they hear it from peers—that drugs can make you feel good. “But then it’s always important to add part two, which is that ‘It’s my job as a parent to help you meet your needs in other ways.’ ”

Indeed, Schwebel says, marijuana’s biggest risk may be in keeping teens from learning to function well—to have fun, cope with depression, or feel comfortable socially–without chemicals. Should you confide your own drug experiences to your teenager? It depends on your sense of privacy, her maturity, and your relationship, Schwebel says. In any case, don’t assume that your past use makes it okay for her. “The issue is not whether you’re a hypocrite or not,” he says. “The issue is how we protect our children to the best of our ability.”

RESOURCES
Ways to talk about drugs and alcohol:

http://www.theantidrug.com/

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